The Cost of Always Being “On”

Your job demands constant vigilance. You don’t get to switch off when your shift ends—what you’ve seen, what you’ve experienced, stays with you. Over time, the weight of unprocessed stress and exposure to crisis after crisis can take its toll in ways you may not even realize. You might start feeling detached from your loved ones, struggling with irritability or anger, or feeling exhausted even when you sleep. You may push through because that’s what the job demands, but that doesn’t mean you should have to carry it alone. The mental and emotional toll of your profession is real. You might find yourself struggling with:

• Flashbacks & Nightmares – The sudden blare of a siren or the smell of smoke can transport you back to a traumatic call. Even during family time, you might find yourself lost in a memory, feeling as though you’re reliving the moment.

• Anxiety & Depression – Hypervigilance doesn’t just switch off. You scan every room for threats, position yourself near exits, and struggle to let your guard down, even in the comfort of your home. Simple joys, like watching a movie or playing with your kids, feel distant and unimportant.

• Moral Injury & Survivor’s Guilt – You replay certain calls over and over, wondering if you could have done more. The lives lost weigh heavily on you, and the ones you saved don’t always bring the relief they should. You may struggle with feeling like you failed, even when those around you see a hero.

• Burnout & Compassion Fatigue – Helping others is what you do, but there are days when you feel like you have nothing left to give. You go through the motions, numb to the pain around you, and even small acts of kindness start to feel like just another task.

• Relationship Struggles – You find yourself zoning out while your spouse talks, unable to shift out of work mode. When you do engage, your temper is short, and the smallest frustrations ignite an argument. It’s easier to stay quiet than to explain what’s going on inside.

• Substance Use & Numbing Behaviors – A drink after work turns into two, then three, because it’s the only thing that quiets your mind. You tell yourself you have it under control, but deep down, you wonder if it’s starting to control you.

The job also impacts your physical health in ways that often go unnoticed until they become serious. Chronic stress and trauma exposure can lead to:

• Increased Risk of Heart Disease & Hypertension – The constant activation of your body's stress response can take a toll on your cardiovascular system.

• Weakened Immune System – High stress levels over long periods can make you more susceptible to illness and slow recovery times.

• Chronic Pain & Gastrointestinal Issues – Unrelenting tension and stress can manifest physically, contributing to headaches, muscle pain, ulcers, and digestive problems.

• Disrupted Sleep Patterns – Long shifts, unpredictable schedules, and stress-related insomnia make it difficult to achieve restorative sleep, further impacting mental and physical health.

If any of this resonates, you’re not alone. Just as in your work, support and teamwork are crucial in healing.

The Ripple Effect: Impact on Family and Relationships

Job-related stress doesn’t stay at work—it follows first responders home. The hyper-awareness needed on the job can make it hard to relax, leading to emotional distance from loved ones. Spouses and children may feel the effects of unpredictable moods, withdrawal, or the struggle to switch from work mode to home life.

Many first responders struggle with:

• Feeling disconnected from family and friends – You may start avoiding social gatherings because you don’t feel like yourself anymore. Conversations feel trivial, and the connection you once had with loved ones starts to fade.

• Difficulty opening up about work experiences due to a desire to protect others – You don’t want to burden your family with the horrors you see daily, so you keep it all inside. Over time, this creates emotional distance, making it harder to feel understood and supported.

• Increased conflict or emotional shut-down in relationships – You may snap over small things, feeling frustrated that your family doesn’t understand what you go through. Alternatively, you might shut down completely, avoiding difficult conversations and leaving your loved ones feeling isolated from you.

• Avoiding social situations due to exhaustion or irritability – At the end of a shift, all you want is silence. The thought of engaging in social activities feels overwhelming, so you withdraw. Unfortunately, this can make loved ones feel rejected, deepening the gap in your relationships.